I’ve always heard people say, “ask and you shall receive”. But I only really thought that applied to Pastors on Sunday mornings. Or during revivals, retreats, musicals, church anniversaries, pastor and wife anniversaries, scholarship drives, capital campaign fundraisers and at funerals. Well maybe not funerals but you can’t say I’m lying about all of the other random occasions⎯ and people say the consumer industry that created Valentine’s Day is cruel. BEFORE ANY OF MY CHURCH-GOING READERS GETS UPSET AND EXITS MY SITE PERMANENTLY: this is a joke, but in the words of the King J Cole “ All jokes contain true sh*t”.
I am now a believer that I can have anything I want without being “that girl” who does regretful things for monetary gain or gifts.
I asked my boss for a drastic change to make me happy with my current situation and he said “YES”! I feel as excited as a woman who has been a girlfriend for a long time, coerced her man into finally “popping the question” and now she gets to invite all of her girlfriends to brunch just to gloat, than send her envious girlfriends home to make their men feel inferior and ruin the rest of their Sunday.
If you’re reading this and have no clue what I am talking about, it’s okay. I haven’t been blogging long enough to have a real following aside from my family and all of my 4 friends who feel obligated to support me. But I’m still not going to give you any context. Go back and read the last blog. How about you subscribe so that you are able to get updates and I don’t have to keep plugging myself in every post (just a suggestion, not a push)!
I previewed and posted my last post feeling discontent, cheated and upset. Upset because my needs were not being fulfilled. Upset with myself because I was allowing people to treat me how they saw fit while I stood by silently, scared to advocate for myself. I learned that I cannot be mad at people if I don’t speak up. And not speak up two days later as I fester in frustration and plot on how to ruin them in my mind. Speak up, immediately. A delayed response only makes me suffer as they continue to make me unhappy. It’s like going to the store and getting the wrong change, not noticing until a few days later and trying to go back and ask for your $0.29. The gusto is gone, and if you tolerated living without those coins for a few days, you saying you need it now is less effective.
To make me whole, I sat and thought about what I needed, to fix the issues I had (and again I can’t go too deep into detail because I still work here and I’m sure my boss looks at my Facebook posts and blogs⎯ Good morning handsome). Here is what I came up with:
- I work the hours of a mad man, doing something that doesn’t gratify me
Change the schedule to better reflect “underpaid worker’s hours”
(whenever I want to work, or at least 6-7 hours a day)
Do the job I agreed to do before arriving
learn to say “no, that’s something I don’t think I’ll be able to do”
- I’m sleepy most of the time
The remedies for the first issue fixes this problem too
- I don’t want to sleep in a dorm style room with strangers and all of my possessions potentially being “up for grabs” while I slumber like Rip Van Winkle
Move to a smaller room that isn’t generally available to customers. This would prevent me from ever having to move into the dorms if the hotel became fully occupied
- I don’t appreciate being micro-managed by people who don’t know what they are doing and are not my boss
- I don’t enjoy wearing multiple hats as the underpaid worker
The remedy for the last issue also works for this one as well. All of the tasks I agreed to do here can be done remotely.
All roads led to me telling my boss that I intended to move to a larger city (which happened to be Coban because it’s within the closest proximity).
I did not ask to move because I didn’t want there to be room for my boss to say no. If he had said no, I was prepared to give him time to rethink, and me potentially walk away.
I proposed that I move to Coban and argued that my productivity towards online tasks would increase if internet wasn’t a novelty, but a norm. I told him that I was moving on Tuesday, July 11th. He asked what I needed from him. I quote, “I am a genie here to grant your wishes”. I wasn’t expecting him to say that, so I added some sprinkles to my request by asking him to help find a place and provide transportation for me to get there and return to Semuc Champey when necessary while I am away.
Later I was notified that I was going to be given a raise and if he is happy with the quality of my work, I have the opportunity to receive a bonus or stay on the job longer⎯ I think that my boss is just trying to ensure that I actually am going to continue working and not quit.
I am beyond excited! I spoke up and got more than what I asked for.
Man, this is my summer to shine. I am radiating!
Although I asked for help finding a place to stay, I did my own investigating and found a place on trusty Airb&b and was able to negotiate a lower rate for an extended stay.
I’ve also learned that EVERYTHING is up for negotiation! I’m NOT saying that it will always work in your favor, but I’ve figured out that it is best for me to ask and be told “no” than to be left wondering.
Want something? Make a proposal and try stating what you want in a “telling tone”, rather than in an “asking manner”. I was able to articulate what I wanted this way because I was willing to walk away if my request wasn’t met with a “yes”. Walk away for me means leave here, and shop around my talent at other hotels or just go on an extended vacation. This is possible because I trust in the power of faith and am confident in my own abilities.
I wasn’t always this way. I’ve evolved into being confident in my awesome-ness while being here in Guatemala. I have certainly learned to appreciate myself. As my own confidence has grown, the way I present and carry myself has changed. My presentation (the way I walk, sit, converse, respond) shows others that I believe in me.
I felt the need to explain how this is possible because I don’t want others to read my blog and think I am wealthy and living in some sort of La La Land. I want to be completely transparent to show you that we all have the capability of being in situations where “you are winning.” But to get there takes sacrifice and being open to challenges. I am truly exercising faith because again, I do not have all of the answers, yet I just believe that I don’t need to worry. What is for me, is for me and I will flourish.
Until next time!
Be brave people!
Even if it’s a small thing, change something!
Practice, so that self advocacy becomes a routine!