Shaking off the funk: Ashley we are not a princess

Shaking off the funk: Ashley we are not a princess

I’ve concluded that the Vtine (theBpum as you know me) is a spoiled, fortunate, truly privileged young whiner!  Yes, it is true, I am one of those people who is so blessed, so favored, that when things don’t go exactly my way I crumble.  “That sounds completely insane right”, I ask with my legs crossed as I sit at my comfy kitchen table.  Drinking my $1.06 Arabian bean, partially burnt (I swear) Mcdonald’s coffee, complemented with six teaspoons of sugar and three Coffee Mate original creamers.    Being favored and loved deeply is a blessing and a curse!  It has created a little Frankenstein and the more I am favored, the more the little monster inside me feeds and grows bigger (clearly Halloween is still on the brain). [...]

A fresh 30 year old’s letter to her 20-something self

A fresh 30 year old’s letter to her 20-something self

Ashley, young, glorious, courageous, curious child You have grown Grown into a confident, honest, humble, vulnerable being Twenties were fun, spontaneous, reckless, painful, disappointing and full of meaningful experiences You made it and now stand on the other side, reflective and grateful You’ve learned patience, understanding, compassion, love and how to walk away You’ve experienced heartbreak, shame, sorrow and forgiveness Been uncertain about who you were and your worth Allowed others to define you That doesn’t work so well young dreamer [...]

Millennial “my life is hard” rant

Millennial “my life is hard” rant

Why didn’t anyone tell me life as an entrepreneur was so hard! Nobody speaks about the adversity of struggling to build a brand and a business Nobody is on Instagram with a sad face and a bank account statement with a negative balance No one is making the tough decision between going to dinner and staying home to eat the same dish you’ve been making with slight modifications for the past month. No one explained to me that the money I had saved up was actually NOT going to be considered savings once I quit a full-time job. The warmth and comfort of a full-time job is soothing. Familiar. Going to bed knowing that a check will welcome you every other Friday whether you deserve it or not is like sniffing heaven. [...]

Friendship Hurt and Forgiveness

Friendship Hurt and Forgiveness

Forgiveness has always been a hard thing for me.  I’m perfectly capable of muttering, “I accept your apology” through a fake smile and a church hug.  True forgiveness is where I fall short.  Moving beyond the fault, continuing to build a relation without harboring thoughts of anger or fury.  The trusting, sharing of myself and my life experiences.  Maintaining the bond and growing closer part, I don’t actually do.  I’m a professional pretender. [...]

Thirst Trappin’

Thirst Trappin’

Now that I have launched a website and am building a presence online, I engage deeply in the alternate world of social media.  More than I had ever before.  Social media is a beast and can boost the average MILF into an Instagram Vixen.  Social media turns “the funny guy” into a movie star and a D list celebrity.  Social media turns a starving artist into an appreciated master of their craft.  A single post can redirect the path of your life, mentally prepared for the changes or not.  A beautiful woman coming into herself can slowly begin a life of compromise. [...]

Bus Ride of Fury

Bus Ride of Fury

I am currently on the shuttle traveling back to Semuc Champey. This shuttle is small in size.  Equivalent to the size of a commercial van with a capacity of 13 passengers. I will spend one more day there prior to my move to Coban. I am lucky to be a passenger that was picked up early, there are only 2 other people on the bus⎯ YES! I’m taking the back row for myself, look at God! A family of four have entered the shuttle.  Two Caucasian girls and 2 people of color (they appear to be Latino, maybe even from Guatemala.  Upon closer observation the wife is certainly a passive native who lets the man make a fool on himself as she pretends not to hear him spout ignorant statements.  He is a tanned White man). Shortly after loading them and their belongings, the courteous driver gives them the rundown that he recites from memory. [...]